Wednesday, August 15, 2012

This. Sucks.

Jason's new job has done a lot of great things for our family so far. It is helping us pay for medical bills, pay for a sitter, and save a little. It has helped with being able to start our business and promises the future flexability of him working from home a few days a week. But, for the meantime... I hate his commute.

I really fucking hate it.

Yes, he hates it too. Even the kids do. He leaves before any of us get up and gets home sometimes after Ethan is in bed. He is gone for 13 hours on a good day. He misses the kids; they miss him. I miss him. He barely sees Ethan and it kills him. He never eats dinner with us; and when he does, it's too late and the kids are half asleep or already asleep. We cannot wait to put this damn house on the market and move.

Today though, I hate it even more.

A few weeks ago Jason called me on his way home; he was stuck at the train station (about a 30 minute drive) with no car keys because he had left them at work. He thought it was a good idea to put his desk keys onto the key chain with his car keys, and anyone that knows him - incredibly intelligent when it comes to computers and academics but not so much when it comes to common sense -  knows that was a terrible idea. So, he had taken his keys out of his backpack and forgot to put them back in.

Thankfully, our sitter was already here so she just stayed an extra hour and a half while I went to pick him up. I picked him up, he took my car to the train station the next day, and then on the weekend we all went to pick up his car. All was right with the world. Phew. Glad that was over and it worked out well.

Well, tonight, at 7 PM when he was supposed to be in the car on the way home, he calles me and tells me that, yet again, his car keys are on his desk. In Manhattan.

Now, at this point Ethan, who is terribly cranky and teething, was finally asleep. Mason and Hannah were winding down for bed. I was finally enjoying some quiet time with my laptop. Not to mention this is the second time he has done this. Needless to say I was quite annoyed.

I told him sorry but I couldn't get him this time; I didn't want to take the kids out and I did not want to be without a car tomorrow when the sitter was here - I have errands to run and I just need to get out. So we decided the best thing to do was either for him to take a taxi home or take the train back into the city to get his keys.

Then he tells me the taxi would be $140 round trip, whereas taking the train would be free because he already paid for his monthly passes. So, back to the city it was. This means by the time he sees the kids again, it will be just about 2 whole days. He saw them last night before bed at about 9PM, and he will not see them again until about 7:30 PM tomorrow. I had to tell Hannah and Mason that they wouldn't see daddy until tomorrow night... and Hannah started crying. My heart broke and I felt helpless and angry that we live so fucking far from his work. So, I called Jason and let him say goodnight to the kids and that made them feel better.  Jason though, he sounded like he was crying or was about too. He feels terrible about being away so much.

Now, to top this wonderful clusterfuck off, he calls me at about 10 PM and tells me he is stuck at Grand Central because there is some kind of "police activity" on 125th street and the cops are not letting any trains leave the station and they are not letting them know anything. So then I was Googling everything I can to find out what is going on, but nothing came up. So then I was worried to top it all off. About a half hour later he let me know he was finally on his way.

This day just sucked. It sucked from the beginning, and it will suck all the way to the end. And I don't even get to hang out with my best friend (married 12 years as of the 14th, BTW :) ) to end the night like usual. And I won't see him until tomorrow evening. I am so glad the sitter (who is awesome and the kids just love her!) is coming tomorrow (at 4:00 when the day is half over, but hey - I'll take it!). Living in this shithole of a town with no family nearby is lonely. I miss my husband. Looking back, I have no idea how I made it 4 years living here, raising young children on my own with no support system whatsoever, and for a while not even having a car during the day. It was hell at one point.

Hopefully Jason will be home in about an hour and a half, and maybe we will get to hang out for a little while before we both crash from pure exhaustion.

Tomorrow is a new day, right?


1 comment:

Lara said...

I feel you a little on the shittiness of having a husband who works when I want him home. Mine is on swing shift in a factory until we can somehow figure out how to get him out of there. Two days, Two nights and a day and a half off. I work part time so our days off don't line up every time. My son will sometimes go a day or two without seeing my husband. It's sad. It's frustrating. We need the money though so we keep at it. We both hope it will not last forever.